Falling For Fear (A Grim Awakening Book 4) Read online

  Then the strangest thing happened at the witch’s house. When Blue emitted repulsion at the thought of my dick touching her—or after that when I threatened her with it to get her running, Fear seemed almost down about it. Which was crazy since I’ve been him for so long that I knew he got off on chicks screaming and protesting at the thought of fucking him, but this was not just him, but me as well that Blue harbored those feelings toward. For a moment, I thought I might have caught a whiff of desire coming from her, but it was there and gone so quickly that I had to be wrong.

  That only pissed me off that she was so repulsed by the idea of me touching her. So, there I was full of rage, lust, and piss as she took off running in the woods as prey. I had every intention of killing her the moment she started this between us, but that idea also died the moment I got to her at the witch’s house where I met her with the same defiance she kept showing me. I kept telling her I’d kill her just to make my own damn self happy.

  Oh, and happy did this game with her make me.

  I tracked her emotions all over the place. From repulsion, to worry, then the longer it lasted, her emotions became anticipation, excitement, and eagerness. The fact that she was enjoying this chase only made my dick strain against my jeans. She wanted nothing to do with me but she kept speaking my language when she kept proving to be such eager prey.

  When I found her hidden in a tree, hiding and waiting on a large branch, Fear said, Shoot her!

  I missed her on purpose and Fear knew. He wasn’t happy about it until she made a move against us and stole my gun, which wasn’t hard to find after she hid it. Or her for that matter. She hid in a tree again.

  Blue, Blue, Blue, I said with a tsk to myself.

  Only this time I did shoot her out of the tree, and Fear felt out of control inside my body. Only he wasn’t. He was just that into the game I was playing with Blue, even more so that we caused her pain and devoured it like it was chocolate.

  Only I freaked the fuck out when she shot herself. “Blue,” I yelled and moved a little too late. She tore a hole in her neck with the muzzleloader. I dropped to the grass again and just looked at her wide-eyed.

  I couldn’t believe she did that to herself. I couldn’t believe she’d choose death over the risk of me touching her in some way. And I really couldn’t fucking believe how hurt, disappointed, and upset that made me, knowing she wasn’t around to prey on. Or the fact that for a moment in the woods chasing her, I enjoyed the idea of keeping someone around to aggravate and annoy—shit, maybe even talk with other than Grim and Melanie.

  And why wasn’t Fear upset about it? He was the one that brought her here and now, he felt like a purr against the inside of my ribcages—it had to be laughter. I was feeling his laughter. What the hell, Fear? This was all he wanted her for?

  See, perfect prey, Fear said just as I looked down at Blue and saw her wounds stitching themselves together until her skin was smooth and flawless again.

  She was alive?

  I touched her neck and felt a pulse. I sighed in relief. Just what was Blue? I wasn’t curious about who she was before but now…

  I scooped her up in my arms and carried her back to my place. She slept on the couch for a couple of hours while I finished cutting up the meat in the sink I left earlier and bagged it up in Ziploc bags for the freezer while leaving some out to make. I was setting the food on the table when she stirred on the couch. I heard her suck in a breath, followed by a thud. She fell on the floor. She got to her feet quickly, her eyes landing on me in the kitchen then the table of food. I made deer meat, fried taters, and cornbread. I’d never abandon my Kentucky roots. I even took pride in the fact that I could cook up just about any meal if it was southern. My parents hadn’t been around much, but my dad had always made sure to be during hunting season. As a kid, that was one of the only times I spent with him but I had loved it. He was also the one that taught me how to make certain foods and the rest was learned from my grandpa.

  And to think, nearly a thousand years later, I was still cooking up some of the same meals I ate with them.

  “It would have been nice to know you were immortal before you shot yourself.” She shrugged her shoulder but otherwise stood where she was. “Are you hungry?” I asked, and it was cute the way her stomach decided to answer for her and grumbled.

  “I am, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to try your devil deer,” she said, stepping into the kitchen.

  I tilted my head and arched a brow at her. “And just how long did that woman have you locked away, feeding you who knows what for you to even complain?”

  “Asshole,” she muttered as she studied the food on the table. “That’s probably why I can’t recognize a decent meal when I see one.”

  I watched her for several seconds. Her dark strands fell off her shoulders occasionally as she walked around the kitchen. Her shirt and neck were covered in dried blood, but she wasn’t bothered by it. She kept glancing back toward the food. I could also feel her hunger filling the room, yet she didn’t seem to want to take the meal I offered. I was only getting more curious about Blue. What was her deal? Who was she? At least one of my enemies had also been hers and given her delightful personality, I was sure she had a lot more.

  “How long were you stuck there before I showed up and saved your ass.”

  She snorted. “I could be wrong, but I don’t think it’s called saving when you steal me from one prison and trap me in another.” Okay, I kind of walked straight into that one.

  “You belong to me now, time to get over it, Blue.” I sat down and scooted a plate toward her on the table. “And I’ve been nothing but a ray of sunshine until you stabbed me in the neck with a knife. It was only fair I shot you earlier, but let’s talk about you for a minute, and the fact that you died earlier, yet here you are perfectly okay with your cute, angry glare. What are you? More like, who are you, Blue?”

  “Immortal,” she answered. “And Blue’s my name as long as I’m here with you. If you’re curious about who I am, find out by someone else because I sure as hell ain’t telling you.” She eyed me with complete defiance and hell if my dick wasn’t already responding.

  “Sit down and eat,” I told her, making it sound like an order because it was. “You’re already thin. Do you even have tits under that baggy shirt?” I asked, and her face turned every shade of red. Embarrassment, shame, fury left her body, and I gobbled it up as I filled my plate with food.

  She sighed deeply before grabbing the plate and flopping down in the chair across from me. “So, what’s next now?”

  “Let’s eat,” I replied, tearing into the meat. It tore apart easily, and even I was impressed myself with how tender the meat was.

  She gave me another one of her snotty looks and said, “No, I mean what now? As in what the hell are you going to do to me?”

  “I don’t know,” I said with a mouthful of food and no table manners that I was taught so long ago. “What do you want me to do?”

  “Remove these marks from my body?” She batted her eyes sweetly, only she didn’t hide the venom that came along with it.

  “Nope.”

  She smacked her hands down on the table in frustration. After a few silent seconds, she finally made herself a plate of food. I watched for her reaction when she tried the first bite of meat. Her eyes lit up and I knew it didn’t have anything to do with my cooking and everything to do with the last time she had a decent meal. All it took was the first bite and she stopped holding back. She inhaled the food without breathing, so fast and quick that more than once she choked.

  “Slow down,” I told her. “Drinks are in the fridge.” She hurried out of her chair and went to the fridge. She grabbed the first thing she came across and chugged it down then back to the food she went.

  We ate everything. No, she did. I even held myself back from grabbing seconds because she was completely exposed. She wasn’t angry or glaring. She wasn’t full of remarks. She was someone who looked as if she’d never had a dec
ent meal her entire life.

  Fear had been silent since Blue shot herself in the woods. These were normally the moments I enjoyed to myself when I had myself completely to myself. But watching her eat made me fucking depressed. I mean, she was a gorgeous—a little too thin—woman. She was also bitchy and full of backbone, yet all that was gone as she ate. In her eyes, none of what she’d been through was hidden, I could see it all. Blue’s been through a lot. The scars weren’t visible most of the time until she left herself wide open. Like now, she wasn’t even trying to hold back on eating to save face.

  But the moment she was finished, her eyes looked up at me. “Don’t ask if it was good. There’s no way I’d know.” She basically just admitted to what I already knew.

  “How long have you been her prisoner?” I asked again.

  “I’ve been a prisoner for the last thousand years.” She sat her fork down and stood. “I didn’t wind up in her hands until six months ago, though.”

  “Sounds like you’ve made a lot of enemies,” I said because I wasn’t going to pretend I cared when I was only curious.

  Her eyes darkened at me for a moment before she said, “No kidding.”

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “To the couch, or is there a cell I’m supposed to go to?” she replied sarcastically, and I couldn’t help but grin as I watched her flop down on the couch.

  “There’s an extra room across from mine. You can claim it,” while you’re here, I added to myself. Fear was interested in her for now, but who knew how long that’d last. And if anything, that was a horrible thing itself. Having Fear’s interest. As for me, of course, I wanted to fuck her. She was hot in a wild, abandoned sort of way. She looked dangerous despite her weight, yet lost and broken in a way that made me want to break her some more.

  I wasn’t a good guy, at least not the one I used to be. Even I had a monster residing in my soul that wasn’t Fear’s. And it screamed to get underneath her skin and break her in a way she had never been broken before.

  I left her to do whatever while I took a shower. When I came back out, she was curled up on the couch asleep. Completely defenseless.

  Touch her. Make it hurt, Fear told me, and I shook my head. I didn’t think so. I wanted her kicking and screaming at me when I sunk inside her the first time but not out of repulsion or fear—I wanted to bury myself in her rage. She was full of it. You know you want her now. Doitdoitdoit! Fear chanted with anger and lust as I forced myself to turn around and walk back toward my room. I couldn’t even chance picking her up and carrying her to a bed. Fear already had my skin tingling, he was so pumped up.

  Fear hadn’t realized we were on the same level when it came to Blue. I’d get us there. One fight at a time with her. Because I had a feeling that was all broken Blue knew how to do.

  Chapter Eight

  Molly

  I jumped from where I slept when I heard gunfire, followed by all kinds of other noises. What in the world was going on outside? I wiped the drool off my face and looked around. I must have fallen asleep right after I ate everything Ryan made to eat. Every bite. I didn’t tell the actual truth about what I thought about the taste. It had been delicious, and I didn’t think it had anything to do with me not eating a meal in close to a year despite a crumble of hard bread here and there.

  I also noticed the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Well, what did you know? I haven’t had the urge to go other than peeing here and there in a long time. One meal and my body was showing signs of life. My body was weird like that. I didn’t have to eat or drink to survive but believe me when I said I feel every bit of the starvation and weakness of never eating. It was torture of the worst kind. The constant hunger.

  I got up and hurried to the bathroom as I listened in on what was happening outside. I could hear flapping above the house—dragons flying over the house? And more gunshots and screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. It had the hair on my arms standing up. My body had to go at a time like this… I moaned and hoped whatever was going on stayed outside. Which it seemed very unlikely for Grim to let his woods be attacked… maybe Ryan was doing something ridiculous. He was Fear now, after all.

  But not exactly. I cupped my breasts with my hands to make sure I still had the vial in my bra. Good, it was still there. I needed to hide it somewhere. I couldn’t risk it getting shot the next time I pissed Ryan off and became the hunted. I shook my head when I remembered the feeling of excitement yesterday. I cleaned up in the bathroom and still, my stomach was determined to make me remember the events that took place yesterday. I was getting a weird feeling of excitement all over again… not that exactly. More like a feeling of dread and wonder of what he planned to do to me next.

  I found the extra room and started looking for a place to hide it. But wait, what if I could get it over with right now and place it in a drink? I just couldn’t risk Fear being the one that drank it. I muttered under my breath and decided it was best to give myself time to study him more.

  If I were honest, I didn’t think I was in any trouble right now. At least for now. I had no idea what Fear planned with me, given he knew who I was and Ryan didn’t. A feeling of trepidation hit me, I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t want him to know who I was. But how long would Fear keep it in the dark from him?

  I placed the vial in between the mattresses and smoothed the covers back over the bed when the front door slammed open. I hurried out of the room quickly, trying not to look suspicious. Which I shouldn’t anyway. He had no clue I had anything.

  Only who I saw wasn’t Ryan or Fear. I didn’t recognize the demon, but the moment his eyes found me, he smiled and came after me. I made a run for the kitchen, looking for the same knife I used on Ryan yesterday. “What do we have here?” he said, right before his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me into him. His hands were roaming up my stomach, onto my breasts. I took a deep breath as he blew into my ear. It sent a wave of nausea through me—nothing like the way it had felt when Ryan had me in this same position. I didn’t know why I even thought of that. “You look important,” he told me. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

  “Let go of me!” I hissed. When I was able to get ahold of a weapon, his ass was dead. I couldn’t budge from his arms no matter what I did, so I threw myself back against him. Something pierced my neck and I screamed in frustration. He bit me. Vampire.

  He sucked hard as his fangs dug deeper before pulling back up. My blood dripped from his mouth. “You taste good. I think I’ll piss him off and fuck his girl before he kills me,” he snarled as he pushed me forward. My stomach and arms smacked onto the table and it skidded forward until it hit the counter and stopped.

  Okay, what the hell was going on? How was a vampire here? I tried to raise up but he pinned me down, so I started crawling against the table. He trapped my legs from doing so. I looked back and a wave of panic washed over me. I was already mentally preparing myself to shut down—shut it all out like I always did. “Not so fast, don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.” He pulled my—Ryan’s—jogging pants down, leaving nothing else between me and him.

  I closed my eyes. These were the moments I missed having power the most. The door slammed opened and Ryan stepped in. His eyes scanned the room for a split second before locking his gaze on us. His jaw tightened and he looked livid—his eyes changed to the red color of Fear’s as he stalked toward us with an angry urgency. The vampire jerked me up and used me as a barrier to protect himself from him. “Come any closer and I kill her,” the vampire told Ryan not having a clue I was immortal. He held my neck like he would twist it at any moment. One second I was being held by the neck, and the next I was shoved aside. Ryan’s hand covered the demons face, and he kept walking forward with him as the vampire struggled and screamed until his skull crushed under the pressure of his palm. I bent down and pulled the jogging pants back up only to have Ryan pressing me back into the table the moment I lifted back up.

  I made a surprised sound in my th
roat just as his hands found their way to my neck. His bloody hand at that. He forced my neck to the side and studied the place where I was bitten. I couldn’t tell if I was still bleeding but the longer he looked at it, the angrier he seemed to get. His hand was shaking and it traveled to my shoulder while the other did the same. His gaze lowered. “What else did he do?” his voice was on edge and darker than it had been when I stabbed him.

  “Nothing,” I managed to get the words out. I was completely off guard by his reaction. Even my pulse was roaring in my ears. “You got here before he could.”

  “Ryan—” My eyes widened with panic when I saw Grim enter the house. He took one look at us and hesitated at the door. “Is everything okay? I came for the vampire’s soul, I didn’t realize you had someone here…”

  “Get out!” Ryan roared and Grim’s essence pooled around him.

  “Is Fear—” Grim never got to finish. Ryan’s hands left me as he gripped his head and fell to the ground. I was confused, but strangely even worried for him as he tried to stand back up. Ryan’s eyes zeroed in on me as he gripped his head like he was in pain—or fighting a hard battle, and suddenly I knew what this was about. Fear wanted out.

  Ryan grabbed my ankle, and I jumped because I wasn’t expecting it and two, so much kept happening that I couldn’t focus on shutting out my fear. He pulled me into the floor and dragged my legs toward him, wanting me closer. What was happening? I didn’t know—I didn’t know. “Blue,” he growled the name he called me. “Don’t let him have you first.”

  I shook my head and tried to get a better look at his eyes. I needed to understand what was happening, but when a tail moved out of the back of his pants and horns began to grow from his head—I knew. Ryan’s sandy-brown colored hair darkened and his skin paled. When he lifted his head up, it was Fear that held me on the floor.